Friday, March 7, 2008

This time last year

Every year my family goes to Austin for the Boys High School State Basketball Tournament. Kory and I didn't quite make it this year (it is going on right now) and we are really sad we're not there. So we've been calling my parents and my brothers to hear about all of the games. I've thought a lot about that this week because I was there last year and I knew it would probably be my last for a while.....what crazy lady would take 9 month old twins to sit and watch basketball for 14 hours a day. Last year on Thursday afternoon I had what would be my last sonogram. My mom and Rachel were here and we were going to meet the boys in Austin who had left the day before. Of course while my mom was here she took a few pictures...this was the last picture of my big belly. I can't believe I'm posting it because its very "bald" and out there, so if you are offended by a raised up shirt exposing a preggy belly, don't look. I was starting to get to the point where every day I felt like I had added 5 more pounds to the belly. I loved it. I loved being pregnant. I think back on this time last year and those were really the most exciting days of my life. Kory and I were living a dream. We thought we were the luckiest people on the planet to get to have a baby and then to find out we got to have 2!!! A boy and a girl!!! I really have never felt better and more excited about my life. I walked around so proud and felt like I should tell the whole world that I was having a girl AND a boy!!! It was so fun being pregnant while teaching my 2nd graders. They loved those babies and gave me lots of great ideas for names, etc. I will say when they found out it was a boy and a girl, some were disappointed. Several said, "I thought you were having twins!" They were slightly confused. They were very good to me as I was getting to the point where bending over wasn't as easy as it used to be. My fellow teachers were so fun giving them lots of names like Bonnie and Clyde, Old Dan and Little Ann (I think that was actually from my brother Clay), I can't even remember any more right now, but there were new ones every day. To me and Kory they were usually A and B. I would leave Kory notes in the house or in his car and would sign them Jaymie, Pick, and Roll (if you don't know basketball that's not funny to you). I just can't even put into words all that we were thinking. We would joke about the craziness of having 2 babies but honestly never for a second doubted that we could do it. Granted I might have freaked out later on, but up to this point we were thrilled at the idea of 2 of everything and twice the lack of sleep! The instant family of 4. This was the week I consulted with my friend Lana (twin mom) and my friend Kara (she was pregnant with twins at the time too) and registered for the little ones. That was fun. Anyways, I'll stop now. My thoughts are scattered, unorganized, and not well written. I am not real sure why I'm even going into all of this on my blog..I try to keep things light and fun around here. Here are the pictures taken this time last year. I was about 2 1/2-3 weeks away from meeting them. That is Jayde's sweet little face I'm looking at on the screen.
Roselyn was there. Here she is taking a peek at her cousins.
Ok, that is really all. These pictures resemble so many things to me and hold such a unique meaning. It is bitter sweet to look at them because I know now that that was the purest joy I will ever feel. I don't know that I'll ever completely feel that way again. I had no idea what was about to slam into us. I guess thats how it works, we don't get to know. But, as I always say..here we are.

21 comments:

annalee said...

i like reading your light reads and heavy thoughts. you can always share openly and know you are loved for being real. love ya.

Anonymous said...

jaymie i love you so much. thank you for being such an inspiration to me. thank you for sharing these memories that will never ever be forgotten.

Pearson Family said...

All of your readers love you and your family so much. We will never know exactly how you feel or felt, but thank you for allowing us to cry with you, laugh with you, and especially pray with you! Love the Pick and Roll name! HUGS!

Sydni said...

I really value your thoughts and feel that I hear you when you say that was the happiest you'll ever feel. Please don't think I mean to say I know exactly how you felt, but you know what I'm trying to say. You communicate amazingly well.

Sometimes blogland gets to be kind of a fairyland where everything is all good and fun when to be honest, that is not all that life consists of.

We just really appreciate and love your thoughts and family.

Jenni said...

Thanks Jaymie for sharing your thoughts and feelings on your blog. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. You are such an example of strength to me Jaymie. Kanyon is so lucky to have you as his mommy.

Sending you hugs!
Jenni

sharon said...

you seriously are one of my heroes. i love you very much!!

Kate said...

Jaymie,

Thanks for being honest and open about what you're feeling. I can't imagine what it must be like to look back at those photos knowing what you know now and thinking about how much has happened in the past year. I appreciate your positive attitude, but I also appreciate your being willing to share your disappointment too. We love you for both!

The McCarter Family said...

Ah, Jaymie! I wish I was there right now to hug you! You are so amazingly brave and your faith in God is such an inspiration to all your blog readers. I can't begin to imagine how many different emotions you are facing right now with Kanyon's 1st bday right around the corner! I am sending up prayers for you and your precious family. I love you so much!

erin f. said...

Jaymie,
Thank you for sharing that. I can't imgaine what all you and Kory have gone through in the past year, but I know that you have gone through it with an amazing amount of strength and positivity. You are admirable in so many ways.

kt said...

My prayers are with you. I know you are in a great deal of pain and at the same time are having such joy. I don't know even what else to say other than thanks for letting us be a part of your lives and that we pray for you all every day. Karen

Kara said...

thank you for sharing these pictures with all of us. i know it must be hard to look back on these and remember the daily, joyous anticipation of kanyon & jayde's arrival. i hope that these photos will bring back feelings of pure joy that the events of this past year tried to strip away. i know that kanyon brings an immeasurable amount of joy into your life, and i am so thankful for his continued health and growth!

daughteroftheking said...

Jaymie,
Thank you for sharing this past year with us. I know it has been a difficult year for you and Kory. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us out here in blogland. You are truly an inspiration to us! Sweet Kanyon is such a little miricle and we wait with eager anticipation to see what God is going to do through that boy.
Love Your sweet family
Missy

jocelyn said...

Thanks for sharing your reflections on this time last year. I can't imagine what you are feeling as you sort through all these memories. Know how much you and Kory and Kanyon and Jayde are loved by so many! We remember with you.

Jocelyn

Susan @ Blessed Assurances said...

HUGS FROM BLOGLAND!

Thank you for sharing your story with us! You don't have to tell us but you do and by doing so, GOd is using your journey to increase our faith on the other side of the screen. He is using your story to show us that prayer does work, that God still heals. OH how I can't wait for the day where we all sit in Heaven praising the Lord, while holding those who have gone before us super tight.

Here is a verse God blessed me with this past week, may it be a blessing to you as well.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal."

Isaiah 26:3-4

love you!
Susan

RachelShingleton said...

Hi - you don't know me, but I've been a reader of yours for quite some time. I found your blog via my friend, Elizabeth Stites. I just wanted to tell you how encouraging your blog has been to me, even when I didn't know how important it would ultimately be; my baby boy was born at 33 weeks due to the sudden development of preeclampsia. We were in the NICU for 3 weeks. I found myself re-reading over all of your posts and I found hope and encouragement in your words and experience. I know God is using you in tremendous ways, and I wanted to encourage you to keep it up. He uses the good and the bad, and I appreciate reading your "real" and transparent thoughts.

God bless -
Rachel Shingleton

Mary said...

Jaymie - You are one of the best moms I know! You have so many special gifts that God has given you, and you do such a great job sharing those gifts with Kanyon, and also with all of us that love you. He is such a precious little boy, and he is MIGHTY lucky to have you and Kory as his great parents!

We love you, and if this cold weather would ever end, we would love to get together - it's been way too long!

Mary Brown

Meredith said...

You're an amazing woman! I am so glad to read about Kanyon's good results and will continue to pray about the eye surgery. You are truly a great example to everyone.

Anonymous said...

I guess you could say that I am one of those "blog stalker" ;) I came across your blog a while back from a friends blog. I was so enthralled and interested in the story of your family and the struggles that your little babies went through. I followed the story religiously and have been brought to tears many time while reading. You are such a woman to admire for your strength and compassion. You had to be so strong after the loss of Jayde to get back to Kanyon and I admire your ability to do that. I do not yet have children, but I hope that when I do that I can be like you. You have truly shown people what it means to have God on your side. I hope that Kanyon continues to grow strong and only gets healthier from here on out! You have more people on your side that you know!

Chris and Becky said...

I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF Y'ALL TOO. I REMEMBER HOW EXCITED WE WERE TO BE PREGNANT. YOU LOOKED SO CUTE IN ALL OF YOUR PREGO CLOTHES. I REMEMBER THE ANTICIPATION OF PARENTHOOD FOR BOTH YOU AND CORY AND CHRISPY AND I. YOU AND CORY HAVE BEEN PUT THROUGH FIRE AND GOD HAD HELD YOU IN HIS HAND THE WHOLE TIME. I PRAY FOR Y'ALL OFTEN. THANKS FOR RELYING ON OUR GOD AND TEACHING ME WHAT TRUST REALLY IS.

Kelly said...

Thank you for sharing about your little girl. I have been reading since you had the babies.

kaycijoy said...

I love you. That seems so empty. Those three words just don't do my feelings justice, but I love you for the words you say and don't say. Just the way you are. You move me. - kayci

Lilypie
Lilypie First Birthday tickers